Posted on September 8, 2011

When you lose a loved one

Astro & Spirit/ Romantique

Whether they are human or animal, once a special being has found a place in your heart, a gaping hole is left, when they are gone.

My cat, who lived with my mum in Germany, died while we were on holiday. I was only 14 years old when we rescued her as a kitten.  Now I’m 32 and she accompanied me through more than half of my life. She was by my side as I transitioned from childhood to adulthood, when I had my first boyfriend, when my parents divorced, when I studied and later worked. When I left for England I always made sure to go back home frequently, full of exciting anticipation to snuggle her again.

We named her 1.4 (spoken as “Einskommavier”), as she weighed 1.4 kilos when she came to us as a kitten. That was such an endearing thought, 1.4 kilos of little kitten flesh, so we named her Einskommavier.

Now she was put to sleep at the age of 18 which is not bad for a cat. Still I always hoped she would compete with the oldest moggy on earth, aged 38.

The thought of her not being on this earth anymore  physically hurts. It comforts me that her soul is in heaven.

Soon enough I hope the pain eases, that I can cherish the memories without tears rolling down my face and that time really does heal.

Even though I can’t imagine it right now, hopefully one day I will be able to love a cat again and give her a home. And I can only hope she loves me back as much as 1,4 did.
It’s a weak comfort now but also very true: Loved ones live on in our hearts when they are gone.


Greeting me at the door

Rebel, my darling and me.

Her favourite place: In bed with me.

How I miss those mesmerizing marble eyes. This photo was taken just 2 weeks before her she died.

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